There’s a quote that says, “I’m not only thankful for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.” I never thought about it much until now, but sadly, there are far too few people that bring out the best in us and people that we can say that about. I think we are beyond blessed when can count those people on one hand. My grandmother was one of those people. Three years ago, on Thanksgiving day, the Lord took her home. It makes a day like today bittersweet. Thanksgiving doesn’t look like it did 10 years ago. It used to be a huge event….all our family, too much food, lots of laughing and of course, fighting in the kitchen. It was the one holiday we waited for all year cause it meant we were ALL getting together, getting dressed up, eating awesome food and just loving each other past all irritation cause that’s what family does. Nana was glue. I know what you’re thinking, “You just called your grandmother glue? What in the world?” You don’t have to think about it too hard, every family has one. The one person that holds it all together, that held us all together. And, it seems in some way, when that one person is no longer around, it breaks. Like glue…it holds things together, but when the bond breaks the pieces fall apart. It’s not all sad, it’s not all bad. It’s the nature of life, it’s growing up. We have families, we move, we get in-laws or friends that though not blood inevitably infiltrate our lives in such a way that they are in a sense family. Life. It happens. Things change. We go forward. We don’t forget, we cherish the memories and then we make our own. The thing about glue, when something breaks, is that all the parts still have some bit of residue left that will not come off. All of our “pieces” have some glue on them. There’s most definitely a little piece of Nana “on” all of us. Probably more so than we thought. I miss her terribly, more now than ever. But, I’m thankful for the memories and for the 27 years that I had to learn and grow from her. I learned so much, things I didn’t know I had until after she wasn’t around anymore. She wasn’t only the glue, she was a spiritual leader. Because of Nana, I know what true conviction looks like. I understand what it means to have a relationship with my heavenly father and walk with him daily. Out of all the things she gave me, that was priceless. I know how important that is. I called her with all my questions about the Bible or scripture. She’s not here, where do I go? The Lord. Sometimes, when the Lord takes our resident strong one, it’s because He has given us a divine appointment to step up. When I looked around and she wasn’t there, I had to look to Him on my own. Through the loss, there was great gain…there always is. He’s God. So, yes, today’s been difficult. But, it’s been filled with blessing. I’ve thought about our HUGE family gatherings all day and remembered her. I thought about what she looked like cooking in the kitchen and how I never thought I’d be able to pull off a Thanksgiving dinner. Today I planned a meal and delegated (some) responsibility to my husband and watched my son literally walk around in his daddy’s footsteps. Today I cooked with my little girl, who just like my grandmother, loves it more than anything. They are just alike. Today we made memories that I hope she will cherish, I know I will. And, maybe, just maybe, I got a little glue on my daughter…and over time, it’ll dry.
This is a list of some things about Nana that I hope to never forget. Most of it I wrote three years ago.
What I’ll miss most …
2. The streak in the front of your hair.
3. How you could take a piece of clothing or jewelry that cost close to nothing and make it look like a million bucks just by wearing it.
4. Your unique style and awesome fashion sense.
5. Your laugh, I’m afraid I’ll forget how it sounded.
6. Your sense of humor.
7. Your bluntness and opinions. Like the preacher said at the funeral, “If Nancy Dee ever had an opinion she didn’t share, I didn’t know about it.”
8. Being able to call you with questions about the bible or scripture. I don’t know anyone else who has read it from cover to cover at least three times.
9. Your advice…I’ll never forget you telling me that it is ok to fight and have differences of opinions with the ones you love. “If you’re not fighting, someone’s not saying what they REALLY think.”
10. How you would get ready for our big family holiday gatherings and look so beautiful, but 30 minutes later come out in a raggedy tank top cause you were hot.
11. Giving Papa what for and keeping him in line.
12. Seeing you love him despite all irritation.
13. Reading with me and explaining English literature when I didn’t understand.
14. Your innate love of animals and ALL God’s creatures…I see that same quality in Ella.
15. You could take care of a dog as if you were a vet, without actually having gone to vet school.
16. Your cooking. How you didn’t need a recipe, you just kept tasting it to make sure it was how it was supposed to be.
17. Your ability to sew, hem and generally fix any wardrobe malfunction in seconds.
18. Calling to tell me how much you enjoyed reading the latest post on the blog, how talented you thought I was and how much you enjoyed looking at the pictures of the kids and how precious you thought they were.
19. Your hugs and the way you smell. It was all so comforting.
20. Your ability to find a priceless treasure in a junk store and your ability to find those “junk” stores.
21. Knowing we would ALWAYS have something to talk about as long as you were in the room.
22. Our shopping trips.
23. Our long talks
24. Even our short talks.
25. Calling it “Nana and Papa’s.”
26. Sitting in your room on your bed with all the girls talking about something or nothing.
27. Watching “Out of Africa” and “The Sound of Music” and “Anne of Green Gables,” without you I never would have.
28. All your dogs and meeting the latest stray whatever you happened to have found and brought home.
29. Your passion for the Lord and your strong convictions and beliefs about everything.
30. How anyone who knew you, knew exactly what you believed and how much you loved Jesus.
31. Hearing you sing in church while I stood beside you.
32. How you knew the words to the Hymns without having to look at the Hymnal.
33. Holidays at your house.
34. Watching you sport a ball cap as if you were walking down the red carpet.
35. Staying up late to watch movies.
36. Hearing my friends use words like “saucy”, “vivacious” and “spunky” to describe you and knowing they were right.
37. Watching you age without ever looking any older.
38. Watching you with my children.
39. Calling me every time you got a new planner to make sure you had birthdays and anniversaries correct.
40. Hearing stories about Papaw and your childhood.
41. The way you could write stories and poems.
42. Getting those poems in a birthday card, be it mine or Ella’s.
43. Knowing when I got in your car the radio would inevitably be on the “preaching” station.
44. Running errands around town and running into everyone you know because you knew EVERYONE.
45. How you were so proud of me, for no reason.
46. The summers I spent with you and Papa while I took some core classes…I’m SO thankful I did that.
47. Always asking me if I had gas money…even after I got married!
48. How it sounded when you said, “I love you.”
49. Snuggling up to you on the couch whether I was 5 or 25.
50. I could always count on you for an HONEST answer.
51. I could always count on you.
