Wait!! What!?!

Waiting. Yuck, we don't like. If you're like me, the word alone might make you cringe. Our culture doesn't do it and it, in general, makes us crazy...or irritable. I'm not exaggerating when I say everyone I know is "waiting" on something. And it seems like in the past several months I've been pounded with the theme of waiting. And here's what I've learned:

I heard a woman give another woman a piece of advice not long ago. She told her, "The bible tells us to be still, so sometimes we just wait and there's nothing more we can do." Like we're helpless, like we're stuck, like there's literally nothing we can do. Can I tell you that I've stirred over that advice for several months when The Lord recently revealed to me that waiting is not passive. What He's taught me is that there is exactly something we can do...that waiting should be very active on our part and when we do it right, it becomes a great act of worship.  It is anything but hopeless. I think of it like this: when I'm at the doctor with my kids (mainly Cale) and we're "waiting," he's doing anything but nothing. He plays, he runs, he looks at my phone, talks to the innocent bystanders, twirls, turns and bounces in his seat. There is MUCH action to his waiting. When the Bible says "be still" it means to let go, not worry, don't actively figure it out in your mind or try to control it. Be "still" in your mind....let God do what God does. What "be still" doesn't mean is sit around and do nothing. Waiting on The Lord doesn't mean hanging out, eating Bon bons and twiddling our thumbs while muttering, "Um, God, where are you...I'm waiting." NO! We worship, we thank Him, we pray. Our waiting is a red flag to run to Him with all we have. It's not lazy. In our waiting we learn two things: First, how small we are, how little we can actually control things and that we shouldn't want to. And secondly, after we've seen how small we are, we see how big He is. His power, His control, His infinite knowledge and if we're lucky a glimpse of his sovereignty. So many times I think I'm waiting on The Lord, but what's actually happening is He's waiting on me to come to Him, to let go of whatever I'm holding onto and praise Him despite the circumstance. He's waiting on me to get in line with Him and to do what He's already told me to do in His word. I have no reason to complain about "waiting on God" if I'm not living a life of obedience and following His commands. My waiting can easily be my fault. Ergo, the importance of knowing and abiding in His word.

The other day Cale was asking me for a piece of gum. He loves gum. When he decides that is what He wants the asking is relentless. Waiting for my response is like punishment to him. The other day he asked me for a piece and I immediately said "yes." But I still heard this; "Can I have gum? Mom, I want a piece of gum! What? Mom!?  Yes or no?" I had already said yes. But, He was still asking. He wanted it so badly and was obviously sure my response would be no. It made me wonder how many times I asked something of God and in my haste I missed the answer. I missed the "go ahead" or the "not right now" because I was so focused on how I wanted it to be that I neglected to hear His response.

Sometimes, we do wait on things that are out of our control: healing, test results, forgiveness. Sometimes we wait for years for a loved one with an addiction or one that has gone astray from a life of obedience. Adoptive parents may wait for much longer than they had wanted for the sweet child that they anticipate so badly. Sometimes we wait to become parents, we wait for a spouse. Whatever the case there are things that are out of our control. And we wait because God IS working not because He's not. He didn't forget or is doing something else. We wait because He is stirring hearts, preparing hearts or minds. He knows the result, he wrote the fine print. Never in the bible does it say "and while all these things were going  on, God sat back and twiddled His thumbs."  No matter how long we've waited, He never does that. He is always present, always watching, always working and ALWAYS-always has His loving hands on every circumstance of His child's life. Thus, the importance of Proverbs 3:6, "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." First, comes the acknowledging, then the straight path. Sometimes, we like it the other way around.

So we wait with hope. Because He keeps His promises (Deuteronomy 7:9) We wait with courage because He tells us not to fear (Isaiah 41:10). We wait with conviction bc He calls us to rely on Him (I Peter 5:7). And we wait with love because He first loved us (Jeremiah 31:3; I John 4:19). No matter the circumstance we wait with thanksgiving and praise (I Thess 5:18) because we know He's sovereign (Psalm 115:3, Job 42:2) and he's working for our good (Rom 8:28) and His glory. So may our "season of waiting" not be lazy. And may our waiting not cause us to sin. I have a tendency to worry or get anxious or even bitter while waiting. Sometimes I see how little my faith is and where I lack trust. That's not what He intended my waiting for. He intends our waiting to draw us closer to Him. May we rely on Him with all that we have and learn to trust the one that loved us enough to send His only son. John Waller's song, "While I'm Waiting" says this:

 I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait.

Yes, that.

This is how I picture what God wants "waiting" to look like! James 1:2 in action.

 

4 Reasons why Santa's not coming to our house:

*Disclaimer: This post is solely an explanation of why we believe what we believe and why we do what we do. I'm not trying to say we're right or wrong or change anyone's mind. These are our convictions, not to be pushed on anyone else!

So, No, Santa's not coming to our house this year because our children have been bad, they’ve actually been really good (for the most part). But, last week we were at the jewelry store with the kids. There was a 70-ish old lady in there who was ahead of us. As she turned to leave she looked at Cale, bent down and with a shaky voice said, “Little buddy, what’s Santa bringing you for Christmas?” Cale looked back at her and with what seemed like all the volume he had he yelled, “Mam, Santa’s not real!” Matt and I took a breath and didn’t move or blink waiting for the response. Seconds later the entire store busted out in laughter. We were ready for some pretty nasty backlash or looks even for being “those parents” whose kids don’t believe in Santa. But, thankfully there were no other children in the store and one of the ladies working there said it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. So, no, Santa’s not coming to our house this year, and here’s why:

1.       We don’t want to teach our children to “behave” because they get gifts for doing so. They behave because that’s what Jesus calls us to do and as believers we follow in obedience. My kids are excited about Christmas morning. To my knowledge they’re not any less excited than kids who are getting visited by Santa. They’re getting presents. Lots of them and nice ones. They know they’re getting presents because when Jesus was born the wise men brought Him gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh…which at that time were extravagant. They know on their birthdays we celebrate their precious lives by giving them gifts. They also know that on Christmas morning they get gifts because we celebrate the life of the son that the Father sent so we could one day spend eternity in His presence, in His kingdom. They know they’re getting presents on Christmas morning not because they were well-behaved, but because they are well-loved.

2.       If they have to choose between a poor, baby in a manger that was born to save their sins and a jolly, magical fat guy that brings them whatever they want while they’re sleeping…who do you think they’re going to be more excited about? Well, “why do they have to choose?” you might be thinking…this is why: As a parent, it is my job to point them to Christ. The reason for this season is Jesus…I’m not going to lie about that. If they think I lied about Santa why wouldn’t they think I lied about Jesus? Ella went through (and still is to some extent) a stage about lying. One day I told her after they took a nap we would go outside and play on the playground. Well, when she woke up it was raining and we couldn’t go. She said I lied. I didn’t LIE; I just didn’t know it was going to rain. A little extra “fun” at Christmas time wasn’t enough reason for me to play a role in her one day doubting a Savior. It was our own personal conviction. We weren’t willing to risk our credibility in their eyes. There’s too much at stake. Let me clarify, I don’t think I’m a “better” parent because we don’t do Santa. If you've ever read any post of mine you know on most days I feel like a terrible parent and I second-guess most decisions. I don’t think believing in Santa is wrong or bad, but for OUR family it took the focus off of Jesus. It didn’t work for US. I love Santa, he’s exciting. I have friends that could make a living off of their awesome and creative ideas they do with their elf, I also have friends that just barely get by with the elf solely because they’re not creative or don’t care, but it makes their kids excited…and that’s admirable too. I love all that stuff. And how you choose to celebrate Christmas is absolutely the best way to do it. As parents, we do what works for us, what works best for our family and our children. It’s not wrong or right, it just is.

3.       They know the story of Santa. They think he’s awesome and they like to talk about it.  They know he was a real saint that lived long ago and secretly gave gifts to people. Besides “The Miracle on 34^th Street,” “The Santa Clause” is my absolute favorite Christmas movie. The second one’s my fave, but I LOVE, LOVE all three. We watch those movies, we have some Santa ornaments, he’s on 3 of the 4 of our stockings…Santa is welcome here, but he’s not our reason for celebrating. Like all other humans, my kids know he lived and died. One of the little boys in Ella’s class said it best, “Santa couldn’t be real because he couldn’t live that long. Only Jesus lives that long.” Priceless. To clarify again, the kids know not to go around sharing the SOS (Secret of Santa.) Ok, well, obviously Cale doesn’t yet. We’re working on it. But, Ella knows that a lot of kids do believe in Santa Claus and that it is NOT her responsibility to go around saying otherwise. So, your secret is safe with Ella….though, I’d stay away from Cale for the time being (wink).

4.       We are scrooges and wanted to take out the joy of Christmas. I’m kidding. We were actually hoping to stress and focus on the true joy and meaning of Christmas…the birth of our Savior and yes, giving to others, like He did and does. We are blessed by Christ. As a family we can give gifts to each other, to others that we love and to others who are in need because Christ so lavishly gives to us. We didn’t want to take away the “magic” of Christmas by spilling the beans about Santa or not participating with an elf. We wanted there to be no confusion about what the “magic” of Christmas really is. Through the power of Christ we hope to make their Christmases magical because of who he is and the excitement they get from celebrating that. They may hate us one day because we didn’t participate in the “Santa” thing, I hope not, but it’s possible. It’s possible there are a whole slew of things they could hate us for. But, I have a feeling when they come to know their Heavenly Father in a deep and personal way and if Matt and I can keep the focus on Him that hopefully that won’t happen. I guess it’s a chance we’re willing to take.

As a kid, I did believe in Santa. I didn’t ask questions about him that I didn’t want to know the answer to. He was magical for me and when I found out he wasn’t real part of the magic of Christmas was gone too. Growing up, the most exciting part of Christmas for me was the gifts. And my parents did an awesome job of getting us the things we wanted. But, then I’d be disappointed in the things I didn’t get. Or when I went back to school wearing the outfit that I thought was the coolest thing in the world only to find out that what I had was now on the sale rack at the Limited Too and my friend was wearing the one that was on the mannequin in the front room of the store. It wasn’t my parents fault. They got exactly what I asked for. It was my ugly heart, my greed, my sense of entitlement. For me, the joy of Christmas left after the last gift had been opened. The Christmas I remember most: I was close to Ella’s age, 7 maybe 8. My parents, brothers, grandparents and aunts and uncles took gifts and Christmas dinner to a family with two little girls that otherwise wouldn’t have gotten anything. I don’t remember what I got that year, but I do remember the look on the little girl’s face (who was my age) when I handed her a wrapped present. She gave me a hug. She was warm, her hair was dark and greasy, she had big, beautiful eyes and her smile went from ear to ear as she opened her baby doll. I remember Jesus that Christmas all those years ago. And that’s what I want to give my kids for Christmas.

 So, believe in Santa or don’t. Do the elf, half do the elf or don’t. It’s entirely up to you. But, DO love and spend quality time with your family…just loving and enjoying them- not stressing out about how to make it bigger and better. Make gourmet cookies or the ones that are pre-cut. Give to others. Honor Him. Remember Him. He is the reason for the season no matter what else you “believe in” while doing it.

P.S.- Shameless plug…if you’re looking for a Christ-centered alternative to the Elf on the Shelf, check out The Christmas Angel. The Angel visits, like the elf, but instead leaves your child a message of something he or she can do for someone else. You can order online or pick up one at your local bookstore.