I knew from the beginning of this pregnancy that the end of it would be emotional (aside from the natural hormones it brings) because it's always humbling and powerful to see His redemptive plan unfold and how He works out "all things for the good" in our lives. This month we've been pregnant for a year. I'm beginning to feel for the elephants;) I don't know what else He has in store but I can honestly say that this past couple weeks has brought a lot of worry. I guess part of that is normal "third-trimester-labor-and-delivery anxiety." And I'd like to blame it all on the hormones, but we will call a spade a spade and my flesh will take the blame. I came across Proverbs 31:25 the other day, which says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." That hasn't been me lately. Lately, I've been clothed in anxiety and fear and I did a lot more worrying at the days to come. There's something debase and almost shameful about reading something in Gods word and knowing that it's so far from where you sit in that moment. So I prayed He would change my clothes and restore the trust and faith that I somehow lost. And in the past week He took my focus off of everything else and put it solely on His son...the sacrifice....the gift....the promise that was the death and resurrection. Easter always wrecks me...in an awesome way, of course. Last year at this time I had finished reading and studying the gospels; the life and death of Jesus as we lead up to Easter. I learned so much, was humbled so much and spiritually had grown so much while spending time in those books. That week we'd find out we were pregnant, two months later we would lose that baby, but He would have prepared me in a mighty way for that loss; two months later we would find out we were pregnant again. And this Easter we are on the brink of delivering that baby. It was a roller coaster of a year, no doubt. But, His faithfulness never wavered. And none of it happened to us without first passing through His hands. So, my conversation with Ella ended by explaining that He is good in all things, all the time....when it's sunny or rainy, when we find out we're pregnant or when we find out we're not, when we have good days or bad days, when things go our way or they don't. He is GOOD. She started her new devotional last night. Her first lesson was on how God is always good and how He never changes...coincidence? I think not.
"I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
