Gonna be worth it all...

My kids took swimming lessons this summer. Ella had a basic knowledge of swimming and really liked it, Cale hated the water. So, it was necessary. A couple days into it Ella didn't want to go anymore. When I asked her about it she said it was because, "it wasn't like fun swimming where you could do what you wanted. It was like work." It's funny because it was something she loved to do and she was excited to go, but then it became harder than she wanted.  Her statement got me thinking. Isn't that how it is with our walk as Christians sometimes? We started this journey because we love Jesus, but somewhere down the road it got difficult. There were trials and struggles and it wasn't fun anymore. Or maybe we started studying His word and found we didn't "agree" with some of the statutes or laws. Maybe we just decided it'd be easier or "more fun" to do it our own way. There inevitably comes a time in any true Christians life where we question God, or get frustrated or even mad at how things are going. And when our struggles and trials hit us so hard it knocks our breath out, I guess we can either quit cause it wasn't what we thought or we can persevere...holding fast to Him and the truths that set us free.

Over the past few months The Lord has revealed to me parts of my heart that didn't belong to Him. And I know that whatever part of me is not under the lordship of Christ the enemy can use to destroy me. I really desired to let go of those things, but in my own strength I just couldn't. I kept praying He would change my heart and continue conforming me into the image of His son, but then low and behold I'd wake up in the morning with the same ugliness, same sin, same struggle. But, here's the thing, we can’t notice in days what God is doing in months or even years. Then about a month after Evie was born I began having some postpartum anxiety. I've had it after each child, but it gets worse every time. This time though, I felt prepared. I was praying a lot, reciting scripture, The Lord even worked it out where I was able to go to our women's Wednesday night bible study this summer after I thought I wouldn't be able to. I thought I was stronger this time around, but despite my best efforts it just continued getting worse. I wanted more of Jesus, I had asked for it. But, this wasn't how I wanted it to go.

I couldn't figure out why being a new mom comes with such hardships-spiritual, mental and emotional. I mean in all seriousness I spend 12 hours of my day sitting on the couch nursing and probably a total of 3 hours changing diapers. I'm not doing much. I'm not preaching Jesus across the globe in a part of the world where you get martyred for doing so. I'm not living on mission or sharing the gospel with unreached people groups. And the things that I am involved in at my church I've had to temporarily step away from for the time being so I can just be "new sleep-deprived mom of 3" and learn to function in this new season. Hardly kingdom work. So why is the time after bringing a baby into the world so difficult? What's with all the "postpartum" warfare? As I was thinking about those questions and feeling frustrated with God for the struggle over the past few months I felt the nudge of the Spirit..."Your mission field is home. It is those kids. And where Satan can't touch you because you are mine, He'd love nothing more to make you ineffective for your children." The baby laying swaddled in my arms he'd love to take. He'd love to have the blonde jumping from couch to table and turn away the sweet, innocent girl reading beside me. It is my job to train them up and disciple them, but he'd love for me to fail there. He'd love nothing more than for me to get lost in depression or anxiety and believe the lie that God doesn't care and neglected me. He'd love for me to harbor bitterness toward others and especially my Heavenly Father. It would be easier, but that would be devastating for SO many reasons. Right now, the battle is mine until they're old enough to have their own. When lives are at stake, the warfare is always great. As Pastor JD Greear once said, "As Christians we don't fight FOR victory, we fight FROM victory. We rest in the victory of Christ." But, our children or grandchildren don't receive it by mere association. They don't get salvation through osmosis. They were given to us to teach them, train them and disciple them. So I have news for the enemy...he can't have my children. As long as there is breath in me I will FIGHT. I may feel temporarily weak, or broken. I may be crying in a ball in the floor, but I will fight for them. The Lord entrusted them to me so that they would come to know and love and desire Him. I will point them to him and I will pray that their closest relationship is with their father in Heaven. I will pray daily for their salvation. I must, even when it's JUST SO HARD, be grounded with Jesus. Because where Jesus is and what He has His hands on, satan can't touch. I'm getting the stronger man all over it. I am seeing my weakness. But, I'm also seeing my need for Him. I'm seeing first hand His strength in my weakness. I'm learning lessons and I'm learning everyday more about His love. I'm seeing Him peel away the parts of me that weren't of Him. It's not easy. I feel a little broken and a lot humble. But, I want to be effective. And more importantly I want Christ to be effective in me.

So, I wanted more of Jesus. And I'm getting it. It's not pretty and it hasn't been fun. Like Ella, I've found that the path IS hard, and it IS requiring more of me than I thought, but IT. IS. WORTH. IT. And when we're standing at the feet of Jesus....it's gonna be worth it ALL!

Evie Mac Euten

The name Evie, in Hebrew, means "life, living, lively".  It biblically was derived from Eve, who mothered all of creation. Matt and I thought that the name was fitting because of not only the new life we have in Christ, but also the work that He did in our lives and marriage through the miscarriage and up until the very "lively" one that I carried afterward.  Johnny Mac was my grandfather. He loved Jesus, loved his wife, his family and had sincere joy for the life he lived. He taught me much about Jesus and much about how I wanted to be loved by how he loved my grandmother. He had sincere joy and it was only fitting that she be named after someone like that.

May 1, 2014...With Dr. Harris after Evie was born

Evie Mac...born at 2:09 pm weighing 6 lb. 9 oz. and 20 in.

Sisters meeting for the first time

Euten, party of 5!!

Power in weakness

Ella asked me the other day if we'd have had the baby we were supposed to have how old it would be. I told her about 4 months. Then, I explained how we weren't "supposed" to have that baby. How The Lord always knew I would carry that one for just a short time and how in this moment, in this pregnancy was right where He always knew we'd be. How if we had that baby, we wouldn't have this one. I told her that's why we always have to trust Him in ALL our circumstances because even when it looks bad, He knows what great thing He is doing next.

I knew from the beginning of this pregnancy that the end of it would be emotional (aside from the natural hormones it brings) because it's always humbling and powerful to see His redemptive plan unfold and how He works out "all things for the good" in our lives. This month we've been pregnant for a year. I'm beginning to feel for the elephants;) I don't know what else He has in store but I can honestly say that this past couple weeks has brought a lot of worry. I guess part of that is normal "third-trimester-labor-and-delivery anxiety." And I'd like to blame it all on the hormones, but we will call a spade a spade and my flesh will take the blame. I came across Proverbs 31:25 the other day, which says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." That hasn't been me lately. Lately, I've been clothed in anxiety and fear and I did a lot more worrying at the days to come. There's something debase and almost shameful about reading something in Gods word and knowing that it's so far from where you sit in that moment. So I prayed He would change my clothes and restore the trust and faith that I somehow lost.  And in the past week He took my focus off of everything else and put it solely on His son...the sacrifice....the gift....the promise that was the death and resurrection. Easter always wrecks me...in an awesome way, of course. Last year at this time I had finished reading and studying the gospels; the life and death of Jesus as we lead up to Easter. I learned so much, was humbled so much and spiritually had grown so much while spending time in those books. That week we'd find out we were pregnant, two months later we would lose that baby, but He would have prepared me in a mighty way for that loss; two months later we would find out we were pregnant again. And this Easter we are on the brink of delivering that baby. It was a roller coaster of a year, no doubt. But, His faithfulness never wavered. And none of it happened to us without first passing through His hands. So, my conversation with Ella ended by explaining that He is good in all things, all the time....when it's sunny or rainy, when we find out we're pregnant or when we find out we're not, when we have good days or bad days, when things go our way or they don't. He is GOOD. She started her new devotional last night. Her first lesson was on how God is always good and how He never changes...coincidence? I think not.

"I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Family now...or forever?

Cale came and sat down in my lap yesterday as I was about to start drying my hair. He grabbed my face and said, "Are we gonna get married?" No, buddy. I'm married to daddy. "Well, who am I going to marry?" He asked. I don't know exactly who, but a wonderful girl that Jesus has made for you. He followed with, "Where will we live? We won't be with you? I'll miss you," he said as tears filled his eyes. In that moment I wanted to tell him that he could live with me as long as he wanted and that he didn't ever have to leave. That he could live with me forever. And, I guess I could have - he's just 4. But, that would be a lie and against The Lord's plans for him as a man. So, instead I said this...."Do you know The Lord has special plans for your life? Do you know how I know that?" No, he said. "I know because the bible tells us that God knows the plans for our life, plans to give us hope. He knows our future. And because God loves you very much, even more than mommy, you don't have to worry about not living with me or who you will marry right now because He is going to take care of all those things. But, you'll always be my baby. Even when you're bigger than me." Cale gave me a big, long hug and then I asked him if he was ready to eat...he ran into the kitchen full-speed without any hesitation.

We have biological families and eternal families. Where I'm so thankful and blessed that Ella and Cale are my children and by blood and DNA part of my family, I'm much more concerned that they will be part of my eternal family. And for that to happen they need a great story. One greater than just simply living at home and being my kids. The greatest story ever told is that of Jesus. There is nothing better. It sounds like an opinion, but I assure you it's not. If as a parent I don't make sure to show Jesus' story in a magnificent way in their lives they will go looking for a better one of their own. And they'll fail. They could live a life that's fine and simply normal. One that at the end is completely explainable. Or they can live one with the supernatural power of God. One that is miraculous, the one that He intends for them and at the end go, "Wow! Just wow." I want them to live radically for Him doing what He called them to do. I don't want them to live a life of fulfilling selfish desires and following their fleshly passions. I want them to see the need around them. To have their hearts break for what breaks His and love like He does. To grieve their sin and the sin of those around them and not embrace, accept or excuse it. To not feel entitled to happiness, but to be moved to walk in obedience. Romans 2:6-8, "He will render to each one according to his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury."

I heard a fabulous speaker at a conference one time. She said, "I would rather my daughter live in the darkest, scariest part of Africa in God's will than right next door to me out of it." And she's exactly right. The only place more scary than any geography, circumstance or situation is being outside of Gods will. That's no where I want my children to ever be. I would love my kids to be with me always. I'd love them to get married and have babies and live next door. I'd love for Cale to love me "the best" all his life and to always be his number one girl. But, that's not what The Lord requires of Him and it's not what He requires of me. It'd be great for them to be with me always, but forever is so much more attractive. I don't want to think about letting go, but it's the most important thing I'll do as a parent. It would be detrimental for me to hold onto something so tightly that belongs to God. And that's the thing we often fail to overlook is that they're not "our" kids, they're His. See, God knew the gifts, talents and passions my children would have before I even knew they existed. Before I ever saw one of their sweet faces He had a plan for their entire life. And as much as I'd like to, I don't know them a tiny smidgen compared to how He does. If you offered me a million dollars I couldn't guess the number of hairs on their head, but The Lord knows every one. I don't want to ever hinder who their Father is making them to be. One of my biggest fears is that Ella or Cale would ever look at me and say that they did something or didn't do something because it's what they thought "I wanted." And here's why; Philippians 1:6 says, "I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." I didn't begin that good work, Christ did. Christ knows the plans He has for Ella, He knows the plans He has for Cale. I don't. But I do know three things: 1. His plans are far greater than anything I could conjure up or imagine 2. It's not my job to know those plans, but to point them to Him with every breath I take and 3. If they follow Him wholeheartedly, living abandoned to obedience, which is the standard Christ set, they will never need to look for anything better. They'll never be satisfied with anything less.

When we pray Gods word, we pray His will. So, I'm praying Philippians 1:6 over my children. I pray His completed work in their lives. I pray they know and can discern His voice and that nothing will rule their hearts other than their love for Him. I'd be doing them a huge injustice, an eternal injustice, if I ever led them to believe anything in or of this world could satisfy them, so, my prayer for me is that I don't...and that when the time comes I'll have the strength to let go.

But, for now...Cale's just 4 and I am the most important girl in his life. And Ella's just 7 and she likes to be with me. They like me so much I can't shower or go to the bathroom by myself. Matt and I go to sleep listening to them laugh and talk and giggle and "whisper." Right now...this is our season and we will worry about the rest of it later...though the training starts now.

It's a GIRL!!!

Someone to kiss, someone to hug...these two are getting a SISTER to love!!

"Awww, man! Another girl!"

And we are so excited....of course, no one more than Ella!! She immediately wanted to know if we could go shopping. I'm so thankful the Lord saw fit to give her a sister, she has wanted one so badly. She wouldn't say that since losing the baby in June. She would've told you, "I just want a baby and it doesn't matter." Which she wholeheartedly meant, but deep down I knew her little heart longed for a girl.

Cale, well Cale, on the other hand cried. And followed it with, "But, I wanted a BOY! Are you sure it's not a boy!?! I think it's a boy!" When he first saw the ultrasound he goes, "Is that a skeleton?" Then after seeing it was in fact a baby he goes, "Is it naked? Why's it naked?!" Never a dull moment. He kisses and pats my belly constantly and says, "I love that baby." He's done it several times even since we've been home. So, I don't doubt that he will be head over heels for her when she arrives.

As for Matt and me. We are thankful that He has called us to be parents again, blessed to have been chosen to raise another daughter and point her to Him and mostly just humbled at His great works.

God is so very good. 1 Thessalonians 5 and Ephesians 5 talk about giving thanks to God in all circumstances. Since the miscarriage I've learned the importance in doing just that. And I even found myself thanking Him during the first trimester when I was sick as a dog and had my head in the toilet (also asking Him to just get me through it.) I've had two ultrasounds prior to today, but something was vastly different in my heart and mind. I guess as one of my friends put it I was "blissfully unaware" with Ella and Cale. After losing a baby it becomes very apparent the miracle that life truly is. There's a thousand things that could go wrong, a million things have to go right, and just as many of those things have to line up exactly as they're supposed to. I don't know the "science" of it all, but I know it's more than I could fathom. And I know that NONE of it happens without Him knowing and ordaining it. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it full well." I found such new and powerful meaning in that verse today. That is some astounding knitting that He does. I saw how she is longer and skinnier like Cale was. She had Ella's movement and mannerisms, they did the same things with their hands. We watched her yawn in real time...and it was remarkable. I stand in awe of Him and what He can do. I'm not surprised, coming from the one that speaks things into existence and "breathed the breath of life into man," but, nonetheless I got a very fresh view on how wonderful and marvelous He is.

Psalm 49:8 tells us redemption is costly. And I know that there were 1,000 reasons He had for taking the baby that He did, many I'll never know this side of heaven. I know He could still call this one home at anytime, they are His to take. And, that would be devastating. But, I've learned so much about Him in these past months. This time has been a huge lesson for me in faith and trust. And even when we can't understand His actions or they don't seem fair, it's just not ours to question. I know when it hurts, it's for my good. I know when I don't understand it's for His glory. And I know, that I know, that I KNOW His love for me is greater than any I've ever known and He doesn't want anything that's not for my good. I know these things, if for no other reason than seeing that miracle, that baby, today and knowing that He sent one and then sacrificed it for my life, for all of our lives. "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

How could anything He does for me be anything but love?

Wait!! What!?!

Waiting. Yuck, we don't like. If you're like me, the word alone might make you cringe. Our culture doesn't do it and it, in general, makes us crazy...or irritable. I'm not exaggerating when I say everyone I know is "waiting" on something. And it seems like in the past several months I've been pounded with the theme of waiting. And here's what I've learned:

I heard a woman give another woman a piece of advice not long ago. She told her, "The bible tells us to be still, so sometimes we just wait and there's nothing more we can do." Like we're helpless, like we're stuck, like there's literally nothing we can do. Can I tell you that I've stirred over that advice for several months when The Lord recently revealed to me that waiting is not passive. What He's taught me is that there is exactly something we can do...that waiting should be very active on our part and when we do it right, it becomes a great act of worship.  It is anything but hopeless. I think of it like this: when I'm at the doctor with my kids (mainly Cale) and we're "waiting," he's doing anything but nothing. He plays, he runs, he looks at my phone, talks to the innocent bystanders, twirls, turns and bounces in his seat. There is MUCH action to his waiting. When the Bible says "be still" it means to let go, not worry, don't actively figure it out in your mind or try to control it. Be "still" in your mind....let God do what God does. What "be still" doesn't mean is sit around and do nothing. Waiting on The Lord doesn't mean hanging out, eating Bon bons and twiddling our thumbs while muttering, "Um, God, where are you...I'm waiting." NO! We worship, we thank Him, we pray. Our waiting is a red flag to run to Him with all we have. It's not lazy. In our waiting we learn two things: First, how small we are, how little we can actually control things and that we shouldn't want to. And secondly, after we've seen how small we are, we see how big He is. His power, His control, His infinite knowledge and if we're lucky a glimpse of his sovereignty. So many times I think I'm waiting on The Lord, but what's actually happening is He's waiting on me to come to Him, to let go of whatever I'm holding onto and praise Him despite the circumstance. He's waiting on me to get in line with Him and to do what He's already told me to do in His word. I have no reason to complain about "waiting on God" if I'm not living a life of obedience and following His commands. My waiting can easily be my fault. Ergo, the importance of knowing and abiding in His word.

The other day Cale was asking me for a piece of gum. He loves gum. When he decides that is what He wants the asking is relentless. Waiting for my response is like punishment to him. The other day he asked me for a piece and I immediately said "yes." But I still heard this; "Can I have gum? Mom, I want a piece of gum! What? Mom!?  Yes or no?" I had already said yes. But, He was still asking. He wanted it so badly and was obviously sure my response would be no. It made me wonder how many times I asked something of God and in my haste I missed the answer. I missed the "go ahead" or the "not right now" because I was so focused on how I wanted it to be that I neglected to hear His response.

Sometimes, we do wait on things that are out of our control: healing, test results, forgiveness. Sometimes we wait for years for a loved one with an addiction or one that has gone astray from a life of obedience. Adoptive parents may wait for much longer than they had wanted for the sweet child that they anticipate so badly. Sometimes we wait to become parents, we wait for a spouse. Whatever the case there are things that are out of our control. And we wait because God IS working not because He's not. He didn't forget or is doing something else. We wait because He is stirring hearts, preparing hearts or minds. He knows the result, he wrote the fine print. Never in the bible does it say "and while all these things were going  on, God sat back and twiddled His thumbs."  No matter how long we've waited, He never does that. He is always present, always watching, always working and ALWAYS-always has His loving hands on every circumstance of His child's life. Thus, the importance of Proverbs 3:6, "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." First, comes the acknowledging, then the straight path. Sometimes, we like it the other way around.

So we wait with hope. Because He keeps His promises (Deuteronomy 7:9) We wait with courage because He tells us not to fear (Isaiah 41:10). We wait with conviction bc He calls us to rely on Him (I Peter 5:7). And we wait with love because He first loved us (Jeremiah 31:3; I John 4:19). No matter the circumstance we wait with thanksgiving and praise (I Thess 5:18) because we know He's sovereign (Psalm 115:3, Job 42:2) and he's working for our good (Rom 8:28) and His glory. So may our "season of waiting" not be lazy. And may our waiting not cause us to sin. I have a tendency to worry or get anxious or even bitter while waiting. Sometimes I see how little my faith is and where I lack trust. That's not what He intended my waiting for. He intends our waiting to draw us closer to Him. May we rely on Him with all that we have and learn to trust the one that loved us enough to send His only son. John Waller's song, "While I'm Waiting" says this:

 I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait.

Yes, that.

This is how I picture what God wants "waiting" to look like! James 1:2 in action.

 

4 Reasons why Santa's not coming to our house:

*Disclaimer: This post is solely an explanation of why we believe what we believe and why we do what we do. I'm not trying to say we're right or wrong or change anyone's mind. These are our convictions, not to be pushed on anyone else!

So, No, Santa's not coming to our house this year because our children have been bad, they’ve actually been really good (for the most part). But, last week we were at the jewelry store with the kids. There was a 70-ish old lady in there who was ahead of us. As she turned to leave she looked at Cale, bent down and with a shaky voice said, “Little buddy, what’s Santa bringing you for Christmas?” Cale looked back at her and with what seemed like all the volume he had he yelled, “Mam, Santa’s not real!” Matt and I took a breath and didn’t move or blink waiting for the response. Seconds later the entire store busted out in laughter. We were ready for some pretty nasty backlash or looks even for being “those parents” whose kids don’t believe in Santa. But, thankfully there were no other children in the store and one of the ladies working there said it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. So, no, Santa’s not coming to our house this year, and here’s why:

1.       We don’t want to teach our children to “behave” because they get gifts for doing so. They behave because that’s what Jesus calls us to do and as believers we follow in obedience. My kids are excited about Christmas morning. To my knowledge they’re not any less excited than kids who are getting visited by Santa. They’re getting presents. Lots of them and nice ones. They know they’re getting presents because when Jesus was born the wise men brought Him gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh…which at that time were extravagant. They know on their birthdays we celebrate their precious lives by giving them gifts. They also know that on Christmas morning they get gifts because we celebrate the life of the son that the Father sent so we could one day spend eternity in His presence, in His kingdom. They know they’re getting presents on Christmas morning not because they were well-behaved, but because they are well-loved.

2.       If they have to choose between a poor, baby in a manger that was born to save their sins and a jolly, magical fat guy that brings them whatever they want while they’re sleeping…who do you think they’re going to be more excited about? Well, “why do they have to choose?” you might be thinking…this is why: As a parent, it is my job to point them to Christ. The reason for this season is Jesus…I’m not going to lie about that. If they think I lied about Santa why wouldn’t they think I lied about Jesus? Ella went through (and still is to some extent) a stage about lying. One day I told her after they took a nap we would go outside and play on the playground. Well, when she woke up it was raining and we couldn’t go. She said I lied. I didn’t LIE; I just didn’t know it was going to rain. A little extra “fun” at Christmas time wasn’t enough reason for me to play a role in her one day doubting a Savior. It was our own personal conviction. We weren’t willing to risk our credibility in their eyes. There’s too much at stake. Let me clarify, I don’t think I’m a “better” parent because we don’t do Santa. If you've ever read any post of mine you know on most days I feel like a terrible parent and I second-guess most decisions. I don’t think believing in Santa is wrong or bad, but for OUR family it took the focus off of Jesus. It didn’t work for US. I love Santa, he’s exciting. I have friends that could make a living off of their awesome and creative ideas they do with their elf, I also have friends that just barely get by with the elf solely because they’re not creative or don’t care, but it makes their kids excited…and that’s admirable too. I love all that stuff. And how you choose to celebrate Christmas is absolutely the best way to do it. As parents, we do what works for us, what works best for our family and our children. It’s not wrong or right, it just is.

3.       They know the story of Santa. They think he’s awesome and they like to talk about it.  They know he was a real saint that lived long ago and secretly gave gifts to people. Besides “The Miracle on 34^th Street,” “The Santa Clause” is my absolute favorite Christmas movie. The second one’s my fave, but I LOVE, LOVE all three. We watch those movies, we have some Santa ornaments, he’s on 3 of the 4 of our stockings…Santa is welcome here, but he’s not our reason for celebrating. Like all other humans, my kids know he lived and died. One of the little boys in Ella’s class said it best, “Santa couldn’t be real because he couldn’t live that long. Only Jesus lives that long.” Priceless. To clarify again, the kids know not to go around sharing the SOS (Secret of Santa.) Ok, well, obviously Cale doesn’t yet. We’re working on it. But, Ella knows that a lot of kids do believe in Santa Claus and that it is NOT her responsibility to go around saying otherwise. So, your secret is safe with Ella….though, I’d stay away from Cale for the time being (wink).

4.       We are scrooges and wanted to take out the joy of Christmas. I’m kidding. We were actually hoping to stress and focus on the true joy and meaning of Christmas…the birth of our Savior and yes, giving to others, like He did and does. We are blessed by Christ. As a family we can give gifts to each other, to others that we love and to others who are in need because Christ so lavishly gives to us. We didn’t want to take away the “magic” of Christmas by spilling the beans about Santa or not participating with an elf. We wanted there to be no confusion about what the “magic” of Christmas really is. Through the power of Christ we hope to make their Christmases magical because of who he is and the excitement they get from celebrating that. They may hate us one day because we didn’t participate in the “Santa” thing, I hope not, but it’s possible. It’s possible there are a whole slew of things they could hate us for. But, I have a feeling when they come to know their Heavenly Father in a deep and personal way and if Matt and I can keep the focus on Him that hopefully that won’t happen. I guess it’s a chance we’re willing to take.

As a kid, I did believe in Santa. I didn’t ask questions about him that I didn’t want to know the answer to. He was magical for me and when I found out he wasn’t real part of the magic of Christmas was gone too. Growing up, the most exciting part of Christmas for me was the gifts. And my parents did an awesome job of getting us the things we wanted. But, then I’d be disappointed in the things I didn’t get. Or when I went back to school wearing the outfit that I thought was the coolest thing in the world only to find out that what I had was now on the sale rack at the Limited Too and my friend was wearing the one that was on the mannequin in the front room of the store. It wasn’t my parents fault. They got exactly what I asked for. It was my ugly heart, my greed, my sense of entitlement. For me, the joy of Christmas left after the last gift had been opened. The Christmas I remember most: I was close to Ella’s age, 7 maybe 8. My parents, brothers, grandparents and aunts and uncles took gifts and Christmas dinner to a family with two little girls that otherwise wouldn’t have gotten anything. I don’t remember what I got that year, but I do remember the look on the little girl’s face (who was my age) when I handed her a wrapped present. She gave me a hug. She was warm, her hair was dark and greasy, she had big, beautiful eyes and her smile went from ear to ear as she opened her baby doll. I remember Jesus that Christmas all those years ago. And that’s what I want to give my kids for Christmas.

 So, believe in Santa or don’t. Do the elf, half do the elf or don’t. It’s entirely up to you. But, DO love and spend quality time with your family…just loving and enjoying them- not stressing out about how to make it bigger and better. Make gourmet cookies or the ones that are pre-cut. Give to others. Honor Him. Remember Him. He is the reason for the season no matter what else you “believe in” while doing it.

P.S.- Shameless plug…if you’re looking for a Christ-centered alternative to the Elf on the Shelf, check out The Christmas Angel. The Angel visits, like the elf, but instead leaves your child a message of something he or she can do for someone else. You can order online or pick up one at your local bookstore.