The "little" things...

You thought the Lord doesn’t care about the “little” things…I’m telling you, you’re wrong!!

This was the first week of school for us and Ella started Kindergarten this year. Let me start by saying that she has been so excited about starting school since she knew what school was. She was in MDO for the past two years. Most mornings she would come in our room and wake me up at what would resemble the 5 o’clock hour to ask if we needed to get up yet or if we were going to be late. No, baby, the roosters aren’t up yet…go back to sleep, I’ll come get you. If you don’t know Ella let me fill you in- she’s smart, intuitive and like most children doesn’t miss a thing. Talking to her is like talking to an adult, and on days when I don’t have an “adult” conversation until Matt gets home, she is that for me. She loves to learn, gets frustrated when she can’t learn fast enough and thrives on information. She’s independent. And confident. When I take her somewhere that I have to leave her she walks away like it’s no big deal. I have to ask for a hug or kiss bye and may or may not get it. Most times I do good to get a “bye, mom” as she walks away. She talks, A LOT. Not that I want to, but I can’t get her to stop. She even does so in her sleep. She has a mouth-full whether we’ve done something productive or fun or just sat at home all day. There are times that I have to say, let’s just be quiet for three minutes, just three minutes. My brain hurts. So, with that said I had fully prepared myself for the out pour of words that would come flowing from her when I picked her up from her first day of school. That didn’t happen. When I picked her up she was fighting back tears. I posted about that earlier. She didn’t say much in the car and the silence continued throughout the afternoon after we had gotten home. All she wanted to do was sit in my lap. She hasn’t done that since she was probably an infant. WEIRD. I chalked it up to she was tired, this is just going to take some getting used to. It wasn’t until she finally decided to ask a question it was this, “Do I have to go back there tomorrow?” A sentence that would make any mother shutter. This wasn’t right. The next day I picked her up, same deal, but instead of fighting tears, they were streaming down her face. And, same silence and behavior when we got home. DONE. This was not my little girl, she was different. My heart was broken and what looked like her spirit. I explained it to Matt this way: You know how when someone gets saved they look different. There’s a light, a sense of joy that wasn’t there before and just radiates from them. It was like that with Ella, except something was gone. I’m here to tell you that the Lord speaks to you through your children…make sure you’re listening.

Now private school had been something that Matt and I had discussed on several different occasions on and off throughout the years. We struggled with it. We wanted her to have an education where everything pointed back to Jesus. Where they learned more than just basic subjects but things like how to treat and respect others. Where they said the blessing, learned prayers and her Heavenly Father was a part of her day, all day. However, we realized that it was our job to teach her those things at home and there is of course a desperate need for Christian kids in public school. And, we figured she would love school so much that it wouldn’t matter where she went…it was just her personality. So, that’s where we landed. But, it clearly wasn’t where the Lord wanted her. Looking back, I can see where He was preparing us and laying it on our hearts. And, I don’t know if this was just a lesson from Him on trusting in Him and listening to your children or if it was just blatant disobedience, I hope not, but I asked for forgiveness anyway.

Tuesday night we had the discussion about what to do. We decided that the next day I would call some private schools and see if there were any openings. We are halfway into the first week of school at this point…I’m thinking it’s not looking good. So the two we were considering, based on location, we’ll call them school A and B, both had openings. So, I made appointments for Ella, Cale and I to go and tour each. It seemed unnecessary. School B was the obvious choice and Matt and I both had gut feelings it was the one. Mind you, feelings are indicators NOT dictators, I’d do well to remember that more often. However, I had already made an appointment with school A and proceeded to get ready to go. As we are about to leave I’m thinking to myself, “Lord, this is dumb. This school is more expensive, significantly. They wear uniforms which Ella’s going to hate and cost more money. Granted there are some pro’s, but again…it’s going to cost more.” To which I hear, “Go to the meeting.” Now, I have a bad habit of arguing when the Lord tells me to do something. I’m not proud of it. And, ironically this is the same trait that frustrates me so badly about my children. They are forever asking me the same thing after I’ve already told them. But, thankfully it’s not a sin to double-check. It is to deliberately disobey, but not to double-check. So, I’m “double-checking” with Him all morning and the whole way there. “Lord, why do I have to go if so much of this school doesn’t make sense. And, I have to go all the way in the opposite direction to turn around and drive another 35 minutes to get to the school we’re ultimately going to send her?” “Go to the meeting,” He says. Ok. (huff) We went. I was blown away, everything about this school was so perfect and Ella loved it. She lit up, it was all over her face and for the first time in two days, there she was. I’m glad I went to the meeting.

We visited the second school. It was great. But, not perfect. He had led us exactly to the place He wanted and there was nothing but peace flowing through my body. I emailed some friends of mine that have daughters that go to the school we wanted to enroll her in to see if maybe, just maybe they had any uniforms their girls had outgrown that Ella would be able to wear the next week until hers would come in. Provided that she got accepted, of course. Matt and I prayed about it again that night. The next morning, my friend had emailed me back, this was just about the first thing I saw that morning and this is what she said:

“Abby, I have more then enough for you that for "some reason" I never took it to the consignment shop. All size 5... And you can HAVE them.”

Two words. I cried. If I needed any more confirmation that we had made the right decision, there it was. I never told her what size I needed, I was going to make anything work. Yet, what she had was exactly what I needed. I was so humbled, so thankful, so relieved. God was leading and providing in a mighty, mighty way. I could hear it loud and clear and I didn’t have to double-check…”You do what I tell you, this is where I want her., it’s where you’ve always wanted her. I’ll take care of it.” A-MAZING!! God is amazing!!! He totally picked us up out of that awful circumstance and put us back down in an inconceivable blessing. Did I mention the school had one opening? ONE.

We went yesterday for the enrollment testing. Though naturally I was nervous, not about her getting in, the Lord had taken care of that, but just nervous for Ella sitting in a room without me and answering questions. What I was told would take a “couple” minutes turned out to be 35. When she walked out with the principal they were both smiling from ear-to-ear and holding hands. So, I wasn’t surprised when she walked over to me and said that she thought Ella was wonderful and would be an asset to the school. Of course she is, she’s a daughter of the Most High King and He did a great job! So, we are THRILLED!! Ella can’t wait to start school and that warms my heart in and of itself. We didn’t budget for this, it wasn’t the plan. And, I don’t know about you, but we for sure don’t have hundreds of extra dollars laying around at the end of the month. To be honest, most months there isn’t any. We don’t know how it’s going to work out, what it’s going to be like. But, we do know one thing, the Lord’s going to take care of it….He already said so. Walking by faith can be scary, being obedient doesn’t always make the most sense, to our tiny minds anyway. But, God is huge and powerful and everything we have belongs to Him, including our children. And, if this is what He wants for His Ella, then we’re going to do it. And through Him, it's not scary..."fear not, I am with you," He says.

You know we hear and believe a lot of lies from the enemy. I think one of the most popular is that God doesn’t really care about the “little” details of our lives. That there are too many other things that are bigger, more important. I hear it all the time. But, that’s not the God we serve. I’m pretty sure that the God that knows every hair on your head cares about ALL your details! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!!